Describing feelings and emotions is a challenging task, writing about them can be a real trip to the core of your “persona”, I tried to write about grief and this is what I came out with!
I wrote this as an answer to all those people saying, “time will help” or “time will ease the pain”… Time is tricky, it might give the impression of involving us in a healing process but, all it actually does is creating a bubble of confused emotions, time cannot cancel pain and sorrow!
Time cannot help in desperate hits of rage caused by the impossible acceptance of loosing Somebody, time cannot help us when our chest feels like a caged space of painful needles stuck there, reminding us every second that we are missing a voice, a touch, a look, an embrace!
Only Faith and Communion with GOD in prayers will make us see that luminescent light called Hope… Hope that we will be able to walk the path of life “hiding tears in our pockets” and bringing Joy through the Memory of our Loved Ones who watch over us!
Describing=showing grief in words is one of the most difficult challenges above all when you have gone or are going through it.
The weight of grief is tangible in slow motions of piled up emotions on your stomach and your head, it is like a huge stone deposited on your life, so heavy you cannot even try to lift it up without incurring in serious injuries.
It is in the food you eat that gives you nausea, in the air you breath that smells of dark fumes, and toxic elements, it is in the slow motions of getting up when you are sitting or lying down, there is no rest of mind or soul.
Your eyes are jaded or full of bitter tears, they taste of contaminated water, and you feel like you are watching a movie of yourself, no beginning, no end just there, stuck in the middle of it, paralyzed, still trying to lift up that stone from your tired body, but you can’t move and all around things are turning fast in a vortex of deep sorrow, in the cutting wind of questions and answers you will never find… It is in your heart beating faster and suddenly stopping for a second, forgetting rhythm of beats and feelings.
It is in the lack of presence, in the memory of that soft embrace, in the irreversible change, in the eternal condition of a definitive end and a new timeless beginning of your life without … him, her, them.
GOD IS THE WAY…